I'm going on a journey...

And I'm taking a backpack, my hiking boots, and my unborn child

I’m not sure when it started, exactly, this dream of walking the Way of Saint James. The “El Camino” pilgrimage is a 480 mile path across northern Spain that Catholic pilgrims have been walking for almost a millenium. Recently, they’ve been joined by spiritual seekers of all stripes, seeking healing and inspiration on this ancient trek.

I first learned of a friend who’d walked part of the Camino with her partner as a holiday. I was always fascinated by the idea of a pilgrimage but I wasn’t sure when or if it would manifest.

The desire to walk El Camino came alive for me in 2019 in a moment of great personal transition. I was working through The Artist’s Way for the second time, and there it was, on my list of forbidden joys. But I was not in a relationship or an emotional space that allowed me to go. In 2021, an invitation to vacation in northwestern Spain prompted me to wonder if this was the moment I’d been waiting for. In my heart, I started making plans. And then I found out I was pregnant. And I did the math. Was I really prepared to walk 500 miles between week 30 and 36 of my pregnancy? But I couldn’t shake that now was the time. Neither an infant nor a toddler would make the journey any more feasible. So I started training. And talking to my midwives about this harebrained idea. And now here I am, on an airplane, flying east.

It feels appropriate that this journey is beginning during Lent, and will last roughly 40 days. When last I contemplated walking the Camino, it presented itself as an escape, a place to clear my head and think about my failing marriage and what I was prepared to do about it.

Now, Camino finds me in a moment where I would love nothing more than to stay home with my wonderful, loving partner, enjoying the weeks left before our family grows and we temporarily become zombies. This journey will require many trade-offs for me and many sacrifices from him. And yet, I cannot shake the feeling that on the other side of this journey is clarity and depth of personal conviction I’ve been yearning for.

Sometimes, my life has felt like a long string of difficult good-byes, starting when I was as young as three and continuing over the course of my life. For two years, I stayed home, very much in love with my partner and my life, but today I added another good-bye to the list. C’est ma vie. Perhaps it’s appropriate I’m on my way to Paris?

Thanks for following my journey.

Here we go.